Work is what I do.
Advance to 7 minutes to see exactly what it is I do every day
I am good at little else, if not at putting in a hard day's work.
If you knew all that's involved in my occupation, you would understand that my line of work is not for everybody.
For the years I've worked there, I don't even know that the job is for me.
I ache. I groan. I sweat. I shout. I push. I drag. And I haul myself to my job at all hours of the day, to do it for 12 hours per day (from departing my home, till the time I return), four out of seven days of the week.
Eat. Work. Sleep. Repeat. Eat. Work. Sleep. Repeat.
Back when I started there, I had no desire to remain at this job past two months. I spat and sputtered for weeks, then months. I prayed every day that God would send me home, to the point that, one icy November night, God happily obliged me, and we lost electricity in the town I commute to, for two weeks. Two weeks of no work. Two weeks of no pay.
Two weeks of my saying to Him and myself, "OK, I'll NEVER pray that again."
I spent days, weeks, months, years, furious that I had been reduced to manual labor, laying the blame for my predicament on my circumstances, wringing with pure frustration on the inside that I couldn't break out into the field that I thought I'd gone to school to train for, and wrecking day after day after day in complaining, circular prayer, angry prayer, and in a spiraling, deepening, darkening depression.
It took years - literally, years - of climbing daily out of the deep hole of my depression and seeking God even whilst I was in the midst of my labors, to bring me to the point where my situation was bearable. And then it took years more to level off and begin seeing hope in my situation.
I began that job in 2006. Fast-forward to 2016.
I have been certified to operate an electric jack for several years. I have received recognition on multiple occasions for the positive contributions I make to my company. I have influenced the way we do our work in my department, to the point that they acquired a machine to alleviate the physically demanding work I was required to do day after day after day (which involved an unbelievable amount of lifting and shoveling). I'm even being considered to learn how to tear down and rebuild my machinery, as an on-the-spot mechanic.
My job has bad qualities. And it has good qualities. Character, endurance, and general personal growth have been the effects of my working there. And though I still pray for better work, I am coming to a point that I have learned to appreciate the fact that I have a steady, decent-paying job. It's the best work I can get in this town at this time.
But the title of this entry, is where I really do want to be in regards to whatever work I do in life.
My occupation really is incidental.
"Hey," I tell myself right now, in the most real sense I've told it to myself since 2006, "We've all gotta work." And it's the truth. We all have to make our way in life. We all need an assignment that builds our character and our capabilities. We really do all need the experience of pushing and stretching ourselves. We need the experience of comradery, of close friendships, and of growth.
This job may be a bummer (to be honest). But I'm getting to the place where I'm just glad to have a job.
This is something that's developing, as the thought only really came to me this afternoon. But it's a clear fact. It's a plain truth.
My job is incidental. So long as I do it with the mindset that I'm serving Christ and not my employer, I'll continue to grow as I work there. And I will continue to trust that God has more for me in my future than just the miserable daily grind.
I took my family out to the Chinese buffet last night, for our annual New Year's Dinner. As we sat down, we noticed the couple sitting near us. I knew the lady. Dad knew the guy. He used to work for the Hospital as a maintenance man. He shared with us that he had blown 3 discs in his back, lost his kneecap, had been burnt by chemical that had been poured into the plumbing at the hospital apartments, and was down to 106 spindly pounds in weight. This all happened some time ago.
But the struggle which those two had been through really did make me appreciate the fact that I have the physical and mental ability to do my job, and to enjoy life a little bit in return.
I really do just need to show more gratitude for my situation, and for the fact that I can sit here, with paid utilities and food and a roof over my head and gas in my car, and look forward to God's blessings, without the anxiety of life closing in on me.
There's a lot more I could say here. But I think I'll save that for another day.
The journey continues.
